You're a Fake Swinger! Gatekeeping and How to be Discreet
Join Kat & Leo for a hilarious romp as they share their take on gatekeeping in the lifestyle. What IS a swinger? Who gets to be a part of the secret underground club? Also… how the heck do you keep swinging a secret from vanilla friends and family?
By: Kat Swings
Picture this: a world where monogamy isn’t the only game in town, where couples delve into the deliciously daring realm of swinging. But hold onto your hats, ’cause Kat & Leo are about to spill the tea on what swinging is all about in the newest Vanilla Swingers podcast.
At its core, swinging is like the ultimate relationship remix, where consenting adults jazz up their love lives by getting down and dirty with others outside their primary partnership. Yep, you heard that right – it’s all about consensual, non-monogamous fun that’s hotter than a jalapeño on a summer day!
What is a Swinger?
You’re a fake swinger! Ever been accused of that?
While the gatekeepers of the lifestyle will tell you a swinger is defined strictly by a couple who swaps with another couple for sex, Merriam Webster actually defines swinger with a bit more broad brushstroke:
swinger noun (1)
swing•er swi`ŋ-ər
b: one who engages freely in sex
A swinger is someone who’s like the rebel of romance, rewriting the love rulebook with a touch of adventure! They dive into consensual ethical non-monogamous (ENM)
relationships, swapping partners, engaging in group sex, exploring fantasies, and hitting up sexy swinger parties with gusto. It’s all about open communication, trust, and a whole lot of spice in the bedroom. So if you’re ready to shake things up and explore love in a whole new light, welcome to the swinging scene – where every day is an adventure!
Welcome to the Swinging Spectrum!
Welcome to the swinging spectrum, where pleasure comes in all shapes, sizes, and levels of daring! First up, we’ve got the full swap – the granddaddy of swinging styles, where partners dive headfirst into exchanging all sorts of steamy delights. Full penetration, full swap.
Feeling a bit more cautious? Enter the realm of soft swap, where the action stops short of full-on penetration but still leaves hearts racing and pulses pounding. Think mouths
everywhere, sucking, licking, biting…
Don’t let the bouncers keep you behind the velvet rope of swinging – you too belong!
But wait, there’s more! For those who like to keep it tantalizingly tame, there’s parallel play – where couples get their groove on staying with their own partner, side by side with another couple. Parallel play with hands ups the ante and brings on a whole new level of hot, where stray hands from random partners add to the heat.
Of course there’s all the acronyms… MFM & FFM which are just fancy ways of saying
threesomes.
Feeling a little voyeuristic? Slip into the world of watching others in the throes of passion – it’s like Netflix, but way hotter! And last but not least, there’s exhibitionism – where showing off your bedroom antics becomes the ultimate aphrodisiac.
So, whether you’re diving deep or just dipping your toes, there’s a swinging style to suit
every taste and desire. And every single one these can be defined a swinger. Y’know if
you’re adding more people than just you and your partner into the bedroom, you’re
probably a swinger.
Welcome to the Club!
So old school folks, welcome the newbie swingers with open arms. After all, everyone has to start somewhere, even the baby swingers or swinger adjacent. With their fresh energy and fearless spirit, baby swingers are the next generation ready to turn up the heat in the swinging scene.
How to be Discreet?
Ever found yourself juggling your everyday phone with your secret swinger life? Yeah, been there, done that. That’s why we discovered the magic of burner phones – a discreet little gadget to keep those spicy messages. Can’t risk getting a dick pic coming to my G-rated family-friendly phone!
In the early days, you might find yourself slipping in a few dirty jokes here and there, just to see who’s paying attention. And trust us, nothing beats the thrill of keeping your vanilla life and swinging adventures separate – from planning fake cruise schedules to snapping those perfectly vanilla photos for the family album. So, grab your secret phone, perfect your poker face, and get ready to dive into the tantalizing world of discreet swinging!
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Swinger definitions mentioned in this post:
Swinger: The maestro of romance remixing, turning monogamy on its head with a wink and a swap. An individual who embraces consensual ethical non-monogamous relationships, exploring various forms of sexual and romantic connections outside traditional monogamy.
Full swap: When consenting adult partners trade places for a night of passion that’s hotter than a summer fling. Couples trade partners and engage in sexual activities, including intercourse.
Soft swap: Getting oh-so-close to the edge without taking the full plunge – it’s like foreplay on steroids! A variant of full swap where partners engage in sexual activities with others, excluding intercourse, often focusing on kissing, touching, and other forms of sensual pleasure without penetration.
Parallel play: Side-by-side seduction for the ultimate tease, because sometimes watching is just as thrilling as doing. Couples engage in sexual activities with their respective partners in close proximity to other couples enjoying each other’s company while maintaining separate interactions.
Voyeurism: The art of peeking behind closed doors, where watching becomes the sexiest form of foreplay. A practice in which individuals derive sexual pleasure from observing others engaging in intimate activities.
Exhibitionism: Putting on a show that would make Vegas blush, because why keep all that steamy action to yourself? The act of deriving sexual gratification from exposing one’s own body or engaging in sexual activities in front of others, often for the purpose of arousal or thrill.
MFM: Two’s company, three’s a crowd – and in this case, that crowd’s getting down and dirty in the steamiest threesome around! An abbreviation for Male-Female-Male, referring to a sexual encounter involving two straight men and one woman, typically characterized by shared sexual activities and mutual pleasure where the woman is the center of attention.
FFM: The ultimate trifecta of temptation, when the mythical unicorn can be enticed into your bed! An abbreviation for Female-Female-Male, denoting a sexual encounter involving two women and one man, often involving various forms of sexual interaction and exploration among all participants.