So, you’ve dipped your toes into the swinging lifestyle and realized you need a solid app game to level up. Welcome to the jungle! Apps are where the magic starts—or at least where it’s supposed to. Spoiler: it’s not all flirty messages and smooth sailing. Navigating swinger apps can feel like a part-time job, but if you’re ready to swipe, flirt, and maybe even seal the deal, we’ve got you covered.
Disclaimer: Before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight – we haven’t tried every app on this list. Yet. But we’re nothing if not determined (and obsessed!), and we’re working our way through the big hitters. Right now, we’re knee-deep in Kasidie, SDC, and SLS, and trust us, it’s already a rollercoaster of flirts, winks, and unanswered messages. Stay tuned for podcast reviews as we figure out which app really helps us “seal the deal,” so to speak.
Don’t forget to check out more newbie swinger advice in our Vanilla Swingers podcast.
The Pitfalls of Swinger Apps
Let’s spill some tea. Swinger apps aren’t always the land of sexy dreams. For every exciting connection, there are a dozen time-sucks. Here’s the real deal:
- Message Madness: Wading through endless messages feels like the digital version of quicksand. Flirts, likes, and the eternal back-and-forth—just to land one coffee date? Exhausting.
- Ghost Ships: Some profiles are tumbleweed territory. People sign up, ghost, and leave you wondering if you’re chatting with a human or a bot. And some apps don’t tell when said person last visited! Harumph!
- Bot Traffic: Apps like Feeld and 3Fun? Beware the AI lurking behind those sultry profile pics.
- Catfish, Fakes, and Flakes: Swipe with caution, friends. Not everyone is who (or what) they claim to be.
- Geography Games: Your app experience depends on where you are. Some apps thrive in certain areas and flop in others, which is why we’re breaking it all down for you later.
The Big Players: Which App Is for You?
SDC (Swinger Date Club) – The OG swinger app. Think of it as the Facebook of the lifestyle world, with party invites, event postings, and loads of profiles. It’s user-friendly, but the message overload is real. At first glance, the app suffers from not letting you know when the person was last seen… possible ghost ship city. $27/mo ; $135/yr.
SLS (Swing Lifestyle) – SLS is big on the U.S. East Coast. It’s all about local connections, event listings, and forums where you can learn (and laugh) about all things lifestyle. Just don’t expect a sleek interface—it’s giving “early 2000s vibes.” Love the ability to search based on last-seen and its specific groups like each Bliss sailing. $24/mo ; $100/yr ; $200/lifetime
Kasidie – Kasidie screams community. This app is packed with event options and a strong social networking feel. Plus, it’s known for active users who actually want to meet up. Love the flirts and backstage passes for private photos! $25/mo ; $150/yr
FabSwingers (UK-Based) – Heading across the pond? FabSwingers dominates the UK scene. It’s straightforward, active, and a little cheeky. Brits know how to have fun! Totally free. Upgrade for no ads – £5 for up to 38 days.
Adult Friend Finder (AFF) – Ah, the infamous AFF. It’s a mix of everything—hookups, swinging, and sometimes even vanilla daters. At first glance, it was a maze of dick pics and upclose snatch shots. Gross! $40/mo ; $240/yr
Feeld – Feeld is the playground for singles and couples chasing threesomes or spicing up their love lives. Sexy, sleek, and all about the adventure! App-based so attracts a younger crowd. $24/mo
Match the App to Your Location
- East Coast USA: SLS is king here. Active, event-heavy, and full of locals ready to mingle.
- West Coast USA: Kasidie is your go-to for a vibrant swinger community and party invites.
- Europe (especially UK): FabSwingers reigns supreme for a streamlined and active experience.
- Everywhere Else: SDC is global and reliable, even if it takes some patience.
Which App For Me? Popular by State
Alabama – SLS / SDC
Alaska – AFF
Arizona – Kasidie / SLS
Arkansas – SDC / Kasidie
California – Kasidie / SLS
Colorado – Kasidie / SDC
Connecticut – SLS / SDC
Delaware – SLS / AFF
D.C. – SLS / SDC
Florida – SDC / SLS
Georgia – SDC / SLS
Hawaii – Kasidie / SLS
Idaho – Kasidie / SLS
Illinois – Kasidie / SLS
Indiana – SLS
Iowa – Kasidie
Kansas – SDC / Kasidie
Kentucky – SLS
Louisiana – SLS / Kasidie
Maine – SLS / AFF
Maryland – SLS / SDC
Massachusetts – SLS / SDC
Michigan – SLS / SDC
Minnesota – SLS
Mississippi – Kasidie / SLS
Missouri – Kasidie / SDC
Montana – Kasidie / AFF
Nebraska – Kasidie / AFF
Nevada – Kasidie / SLS
New Hampshire – SLS / Kasidie
New Jersey – SLS / SDC
New Mexico – SLS / Kasidie
New York – SLS / SDC
North Carolina – SLS / SDC
North Dakota – AFF /
Ohio – SLS
Oklahoma – SDC / Kasidie
Oregon – Kasidie / SLS
Pennsylvania – SLS / Kasidie
Rhode Island – SLS / SDC
South Carolina – SLS / SDC
South Dakota – AFF
Tennessee – SLS / Kasidie
Texas – SDC / Kasidie
Utah – Kasidie / Swingular
Vermont – SLS / AFF
Virginia – SLS / SDC
Washington – Kasidie / SLS
West Virginia – SLS / AFF
Wisconsin – SLS / Kasidie
Wyoming – AFF / Kasidie
What's the Consensus?
Apps can be a grind, but they’re also a gateway to amazing connections and unforgettable experiences. Pick the one that fits your vibe (and your zip code), manage your expectations, and dive in. Remember: it’s not just about swiping; it’s about finding the right fit for your unique dynamic.
And don’t forget—Kat and Leo are on this journey too! We’ll keep you updated on our app adventures, mishaps, and success stories. Until then, happy swiping!
💋 Happy swinging!
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)
***NO AFFILIATE LINKS*** They are so uncool.
SDC: Paid lifestyle dating community for swingers popular in the Southeast
SLS: Paid lifestyle dating app launched in 2001, popular in rural areas. Old school feel.
Kasidie: Paid lifestyle dating app popular on the West coast.
Adult Friend Finder: Paid hookup app a little on the cringey side.
FabSwingers: UK-based, totally free lifestyle app launched in 2006.
Feeld: 21st century dating app for the curious. Good for threesomes & hookups.
Swinger Lingo (check Swinger Dictionary for more!)
Catfishing: The art of deception in the digital dating pool—when someone creates a fake persona to lure you in with sweet words and seductive pics, only to reveal they’re not who they say they are. Proceed with caution, folks—what you see isn’t always what you get!
Fake: The faux swingers who talk the talk but can’t walk the walk – because in the world of swinging, authenticity is everything. A term describing individuals who falsely represent themselves or their intentions within the swinging community, often leading to disappointment or frustration among genuine participants. Usually in reference to individuals met via online apps.
Flake: The faux swingers who talk the talk but can’t walk the walk – because in the world of swinging, authenticity is everything. A term describing individuals who falsely represent themselves or their intentions within the swinging community, often leading to disappointment or frustration among genuine participants. Usually in reference to individuals met via online apps.