Let’s be real – swinging is supposed to be fun, sexy, and drama-free. But sometimes, the lifestyle comes with a few… let’s call them frustrations. And if you’ve been in the game long enough, you’ve probably run into at least some of these.
So, let’s talk about the biggest swinger pet peeves – and more importantly, how to NOT be that person. All this and more in our most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
Why Do Lifestyle Events Start So Late?
Most people complain about it, but we’re all for the witching hour—bring on the late-night fun! Vampires unite!! Nothing good ever happened after 2am, so bring on 2am!!! That said, we get why not everyone wants to start at vampire hours. Why do so many LS events kick off at 11 PM or later? Sure, if you’re 22 and fueled by vodka and bad decisions, midnight is prime time – and honestly, we’re here for it. But for the rest of the world? They’d like to flirt, have fun, and still catch a decent night’s sleep. Maybe a little before-midnight action wouldn’t hurt?
The “Bi-For-My-Guy” Phenomenon
Listen, we LOVE bisexual women. But there’s a difference between actually being into women and just giving a half-hearted lick and dip before rushing back to your man. If you’re only engaging because he wants it and not because you want it… maybe just sit this one out. Bi-sexual women are waaaaay more fun than bi-curious and bi-comfortable. Just sayin’!
OnlyFans Creators - Real or Just for the ’Gram?
A lot of people bemoan the rise of OF creators in the lifestyle—how it’s all about the content, the money, the clout, and not real emotions. And honestly? They might have a point. There’s definitely a difference between swinging for the thrill and swinging for the subscribers. BUT… if a ridiculously hot OF couple wants to play with us? Oh, we are so down for that. Just don’t ask us to sign a waiver after.
$hit Is Expensive!
Look, we get it—clubs have overhead, events take planning, and someone has to pay for all that dim lighting and velvet furniture. But $100+ per person just to walk through the door? Add in drinks, a hotel, and a fresh wax, and suddenly, swinging is looking like a luxury sport.
Theme Night Overload
How many theme nights does one club need? We love a fun dress-up moment, but when every weekend is a new costume party, it gets exhausting. Sometimes, we just wanna show up looking hot in our normal sexy attire, not stress about finding a freakin’ pirate costume on a Thursday.
Top Red Flags in the Lifestyle
Sneaky Wife Poachers & Their Not-So-Subtle Moves
Oh, you’re a couple “looking for another couple” but really just hoping to find a woman? We see you. And we see through you. Just be honest – it’ll save everyone a lot of time. So let’s cool it with the wife poaching. If a woman is in a committed couple, respect the couple. Period.
Online Dating Is a Circus
Fake ages—If you’re 45, don’t say you’re 32. We can tell.
Old or filtered pics—You showing up looking nothing like your profile? Instant ghosting.
Only dick pics for the guys, but full photoshoots for the women—Why is this still a thing??
Ghosting after setting up a meet—If you change your mind, just say so. Don’t waste people’s time.
Fake profiles and “picture collectors”—Feeld, 3Fun, and Fetlife are rampant with these. If you’re just there to chat and collect nudes, go join a subreddit.
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)
Swinger Lingo (check Swinger Dictionary for more!)
Exhibitionism: Putting on a show that would make Vegas blush, because why keep all that steamy action to yourself? The act of deriving sexual gratification from exposing one’s own body or engaging in sexual activities in front of others, often for the purpose of arousal or thrill.
Newbies: The fresh-faced newcomers to the swinging scene, eager to explore, learn, and dive headfirst into the steamy world of non-monogamy. Individuals or couples who are new to the swinging lifestyle and may be exploring it for the first time, often seeking guidance and information as they navigate this new experience.
Voyeurism: The art of peeking behind closed doors, where watching becomes the sexiest form of foreplay. A practice in which individuals derive sexual pleasure from observing others engaging in intimate activities.