Let’s get one thing straight – the lifestyle is supposed to be fun. It’s a space where consenting adults explore, connect, and (hopefully) leave behind good vibes and even better memories. So, why are some people so damn insufferable about it? Whether it’s the “I-only-play-with-fitness-models” crowd or the classic 9-to-5 couple, we need to have a little chat. Buckle up, babes—Kat’s about to drop some sass and some truth in our most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
Picky People: Be Discerning, Not a Diva
We get it. You’re hot, you’re fit, and you have standards. Good for you. But there’s a massive difference between being discerning and being downright rude. Swinging is not an exclusive VIP club where only the genetically blessed can mingle. If you’re strutting into a party with a nose in the air so high you’re practically looking at the ceiling, newsflash – no one cares how perfect your abs are. You’re insufferable.
Being picky is fine—hell, it’s encouraged! You should only play with people who spark your interest and meet your desires. But there’s no need to announce it to the world like you’re on some reality show judging panel. It costs zero dollars to be polite. Swipe left gracefully, decline with kindness, and remember that humility looks hotter than arrogance. If you’re lucky enough to find others who fit your vibe, don’t forget that they’re also people with feelings—not props for your ego.
The 9-to-5 Paradox: Wife is Hot, Husband Not
Ah, the 9-to-5 couple—the quintessential trope of swinging. The wife? She’s a total 9. Gorgeous, fit, sexy lingerie on point, hair like she stepped out of a salon, and makeup that could launch a YouTube channel. The husband? Well… bless his heart. He’s a 5, on a good day.
Why is this dynamic so common? Women have a whole arsenal to amplify their looks: makeup, hair styling, outfits, heels, nails—you name it. Men? Their toolbox is basically just “hit the gym” and “maybe shave.” Let’s be real—most guys don’t even bother with the basics like covering up their greys or putting effort into their wardrobe. But let me tell you a little secret: effort goes a long way.
European men, for example, aren’t necessarily more handsome than their U.S. counterparts, but they dress like they give a damn. A well-tailored shirt, polished shoes, and some cologne? Chef’s kiss. So, gentlemen, take note. No one’s asking for miracles, but a little grooming and style can turn a 5 into a solid 7. And if your partner is putting in all the work to look like a snack, the least you can do is try to keep up.
Swinging 101 - Newbie Tips
Pride Goeth Before the Fall
Here’s the thing about swinging: one day, we’ll all age out of the “hot young thing” category. Today, you might be at the top of your game, turning heads and living your best life. But time comes for us all, and sooner or later, you’ll be the more mature swinger looking back wistfully at your glory days.
That’s why kindness and humility matter so much. If you treat others in the lifestyle with respect, if you leave a little happiness with everyone you meet, you’ll build a reputation that lasts far longer than your looks. Remember, the lifestyle isn’t just about taking—it’s about giving. A moment of connection, a bit of joy, a sweet memory to look back on. Be the person people remember fondly, not the one they roll their eyes at when your name comes up.
The Swinger Golden Rule: Be Kind, Be Nice, Be Humble
At the end of the day, we’re all in this lifestyle to connect, explore, and have fun. So why not make it a little better for everyone? Be kind to the people you meet, even if they’re not your cup of tea. Be nice, even if you’re politely declining. And for the love of all things sexy, be humble. You’re not God’s gift to swinging, even if you’re rocking a six-pack and designer lingerie.
Life—and swinging—is so much better when you approach it with kindness, effort, and a little humility. Leave a trail of happiness wherever you go, because the good energy you put out always comes back to you. And who knows? You might even find that 9-to-5 couple who totally surprises you.
Now go forth, my lovely swingers, and make the lifestyle a little less frustrating and a lot more fabulous. You got this.
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Swinger Lingo (check Swinger Dictionary for more!)
Swinging: The thrilling adventure of swapping partners with other couples. It’s all about shared pleasure, mutual consent, and diving into new, exciting sexual escapades together.
9-to-5: The ultimate swinging cliché: she’s a jaw-dropping 9, oozing glamour and sex appeal, while he’s over there rocking a 5, dad bod and all. Truly, a trope as old as time—and just as exasperating!