Picture 6,600 spicy sailors, a floating paradise, and one epic adventure on the Bliss Cruise. Welcome aboard the Super Bowl of Swinging, where fantasies run wild, drinks flow (hopefully not too expensively), and the lifestyle reaches its peak. But let’s get real—swinger cruises, as magical as they seem, come with their quirks. From how to bring a unicorn onboard to navigating the not-so-secret middle school dance vibes, we’re spilling all the tea in the most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
Bringing a Unicorn Onboard
If you’re wondering how to invite a single lady (aka a unicorn) to join you on this epic adventure, it’s simpler than you think—if you plan ahead. Unicorns, those rare and magical beings, are a hot commodity on any swinger cruise. Bliss Cruise is a couples-only affair, but they do allow a third person to join your stateroom for a modest extra fee—if you book one of the select rooms marked with an asterisk or cross on the deck plan. Did we have one of those rooms? Nope! So, we went through the whole saga of trying to find a cancellation or upgrade by asking our travel agent. After a few dead ends, we took a shortcut and went with a total stranger who graciously offered to add our unicorn to their manifest—for free! Talk about lifestylers being the nicest people!
And don’t think it’s all smooth sailing once you’re onboard! Maintaining that connection is just as important. The Bliss Cruise is massive, with endless events, meetups, and parties. Stay intentional about your plans together, whether it’s a themed party, a workshop, or simply lounging by the pool. Keep the communication flowing and check in regularly to ensure everyone is on the same page.
The $$$$ Question: Is the Drink Package Worth It?
Let’s talk about the infamous drink package—$1500 for the privilege of unlimited booze. Sounds tempting, right? But is it really worth it? The short answer – it depends.
If you’re the kind of couple who loves top-shelf cocktails and plans to sip from dawn to dusk (and beyond), the drink package might be a no-brainer. But for others, it can feel like a pricey burden. Here’s a little secret: there are ways to make it work without breaking the bank. Many seasoned cruisers suggest bringing your own stash. Yes, it’s a bit of a gamble, but with creative packing (hello, shampoo bottles, hollowed-out sunscreen & rum runner bladders), you might just sneak a few of your favorite spirits onboard.
For those who prefer a safer route, Bliss Cruises also allow passengers to pay as you go – perfect for those who enjoy a few drinks without going full throttle.
The Dirty Little Secret: Rejection on the High Seas
Here’s something no one tells you about swinger cruises. As sexy as they seem, they’re not all steamy hookups and carefree fun. At the heart of it, the Bliss Cruise can sometimes feel like a giant middle school dance. Yep, you heard that right—a middle school dance with 6,600 grown adults afraid of rejection.
The sheer size of the cruise means there’s a lot of potential for connection, but also a lot of missed opportunities. Some couples come onboard with sky-high expectations, only to leave feeling disappointed when things don’t click. Whether it’s shyness, mismatched vibes, or the overwhelming pressure to make something happen, not everyone ends the trip on a high note.
And let’s be honest—rejection stings no matter where you are. But here’s the thing – it’s all part of the experience. Swinging, like life, is a mix of wins and misses. The best advice? Go in with an open mind, a sense of humor, and a focus on enjoying the entire experience, not just the playtime.
Is It Worth It?
So, was the Bliss Cruise everything we dreamed of? Absolutely. A million %! Even with its quirks, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime adventure that combines incredible parties, unforgettable connections, and a level of freedom you just can’t find on land. Whether you’re scoring an 11/10 night or facing a few hiccups, the memories you’ll make are worth every penny (and maybe every awkward encounter).
Stay tuned for Part 2, where we dive into every pro-tip under the sun to make your Bliss Cruise experience the best it can be. Until then, cheers to the spicy sailors and unforgettable adventures that make the lifestyle so exciting!
April Bliss Cruise Review Part 1-4
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)
Bliss Cruise – NO AFFILIATE LINKS. Buy direct or find a travel agent (same price).
CruiseMapper – Find a sister vanilla ship to throw your friends off the swinging scent and keep your steamy adventures under wraps.
Cruise Drinks Calculator – To figure out if the drinks package is worth it, let this tool do the math for you! It’ll tally up your drink costs and show you what you’d spend without it. Bottoms up!
Royal Caribbean Cruise Deck List – Click here to uncover a super-secret treasure trove of 100s of aggregated user reviews of specific Royal Caribbean cruise line cabins. Find your Cruise Ship (Oasis/ Symphony/ Mariner) and search to see if your cabin has been reviewed.
Celebrity Cruise Deck List – Click here to uncover a super-secret treasure trove of 54 pages of aggregated user reviews of specific Celebrity cruise line cabins. Search the pages for your Cruise Ship class (Reflection/Silhouette) to help you find the best cabin.
Kat's Amazon Wish List
We promise, NO affiliate links...they're so un-F*cking cool!
Non Surge Power Strip – With three AC outlets and two USB ports, this cruise-approved lifesaver keeps all your devices juiced up and ready for fun because your cabin has, like, ONE outlet.
Magnetic Dry Erase Board – Because freebie boards are 3/4 full of travel agent ads. Enjoy a huge blank space for all your steamy slutty notes.
Cruise Luggage Tags – Clear plastic luggage tags to keep your cruise ship tags clean and dry. Be sure they are the RIGHT size for your cruise line. Royal Caribbean is not the same size as Carnival luggage tags, etc… You ONLY need them for luggage, not carryons.
Cruise Lanyard – Because bathing suits don’t have pockets… and neither does sexy wear! Get a plastic sleeved lanyard to hold your Sea Pass Card – your ultimate cruise life accessory! It’s your room key, credit card, proof of a drink package, and ID for getting on and off the ship. OTHER options include a badge holder with carabiner clip OR a handy magnetic wallet phone case.
Mesh Zipper Pouch – Absolute packing lifesavers! Keep your theme outfits and accessories organized to perfection! Water-resistant, sturdy, and easy to label. Better than re-using those flimsy Shein bags! (Might work for your smuggled liquor cache too. Ssssshh!)
Magnetic Hooks – Verdict’s out! Leo said no, Kat said yes. Kat wins!! Magnet hooks were a hit! And we needed more!! Hang your cruise door decorations… wet towels, bathing suits, lanyards.