Alright, swinging superstars, it’s time for the ultimate Bliss Cruise showdown! Whether you’re a newbie ready to pop your sea legs cherry or a seasoned sailor in search of your next hedonistic high seas adventure, the biggest question is: April or November? Let’s break it down sassily, stylishly, and with just the right amount of shade for those post-cruise keyboard warriors.All this and more in our most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
April: The Intimate Mariner (3000 Guests)
Think of April’s Mariner or Explorer of the Seas as the sultry smaller sibling of November’s Symphony. Hosting just 3000 passengers, it’s all about connection.
- Cozy Vibes: With fewer bodies onboard, the chances of bumping into your flirtatious dance partner from night one are way higher. Hello, effortless second encounters!
- Playroom Access Galore: Smaller crowds mean less waiting to slip into those oh-so-soft sheets in the playrooms. 😉
- More Intimate Meet & Greets: Want to actually hear someone’s name when mingling? April’s setup feels less like speed dating at a rock concert and more like…well, speed dating at a slightly quieter rock concert.
Bliss Swinger Cruise Review Part 1
November: The Massive Symphony (6000 Guests)
For those who like things BIG (and we know you do), November’s Symphony of the Seas is the floating paradise for you.
- Nonstop Energy: With double the passengers, the vibe is electric. Think of it as the difference between a hot neighborhood bar and a Vegas nightclub.
- Options, Options, Options: Twice the people means twice the opportunities to find your people. The downside? You might need a spreadsheet to remember who’s who by day three.
- Amenities Fit for Royalty: This beast of a boat is packed with features – from sprawling pools to multiple bars, lounges, and more places to, ahem, make memories.
Now, About Those Keyboard Warriors…
Listen, after every Bliss Cruise, the internet fills with complaints, and honestly, most of them come from people who probably didn’t have as much fun as they hoped (yep, I said it). Here’s how we’re quelling the drama like the sassy sailors we are:
1. “EDM Music Sucked”
Music is always subjective, babe. If EDM’s not your jam, maybe the playrooms, hot tubs, or, I don’t know, the thousand other sexy activities onboard are more your speed? Also, have you tried making your own beats in a playroom? Just sayin’.
2. “Playroom Hours Were Poor”
Spoiler: Playroom hours won’t matter if you’re so busy making connections that you end up creating your own private playroom back in your cabin. Adjust, adapt, and get creative!
3. “Late Night Food Choices Were Limited”
Alright, we get it—nothing kills the post-playroom buzz like a closed pizza bar. Pro tip: stash snacks in your cabin or, better yet, fill up before the night heats up. Sexy fun > hanger.
4. “Pool Chair Hogs”
Here’s a tip: The real fun isn’t on a pool chair—it’s in the pool. Or the hot tub. Or the playroom. Or the nightclub. Why are we arguing over deck chairs when we have endless fun to chase?
5. “The November Symphony Was Too Big”
Some people thrive in a crowd; others don’t. If the sheer size of the Symphony makes your head spin, April’s Mariner might be your better bet. But let’s be real—on a ship with thousands of open-minded adults, the only thing you should be focused on is who you’ll meet next.
6. “Unstructured Meet & Greets Were Too Crowded”
True, November’s meetups can get intense. Pro tip: Host your own cabin party! Smaller settings mean better vibes, more mingling, and fewer awkward attempts to squeeze into a packed lounge.
Bliss Swinger Cruise Review Part 2
So, Which Should You Book?
It all boils down to your vibe:
- April is for couples craving more intimate connections, fewer logistics, and easier mingling.
- November is for social butterflies who love the thrill of larger crowds, grander venues, and endless possibilities.
Whichever you choose, just remember: The real magic happens when you embrace the moment, let loose, and focus on the sexy fun rather than the small stuff. Because honestly? No one remembers a pool chair war when they’re reliving that unforgettable encounter at sea.
Cheers to choosing your own adventure, and we’ll see you onboard!
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)
Bliss Cruise – NO AFFILIATE LINKS. Buy direct or find a travel agent (same price).
CruiseMapper – Find a sister vanilla ship to throw your friends off the swinging scent and keep your steamy adventures under wraps.
Cruise Drinks Calculator – To figure out if the drinks package is worth it, let this tool do the math for you! It’ll tally up your drink costs and show you what you’d spend without it. Bottoms up!
Royal Caribbean Cruise Deck List – Click here to uncover a super-secret treasure trove of 100s of aggregated user reviews of specific Royal Caribbean cruise line cabins. Find your Cruise Ship (Oasis/ Symphony/ Mariner) and search to see if your cabin has been reviewed.
Celebrity Cruise Deck List – Click here to uncover a super-secret treasure trove of 54 pages of aggregated user reviews of specific Celebrity cruise line cabins. Search the pages for your Cruise Ship class (Reflection/Silhouette) to help you find the best cabin.
Kat's Amazon Wish List
We promise, NO affiliate links...they're so un-F*cking cool!
Non Surge Power Strip – With three AC outlets and two USB ports, this cruise-approved lifesaver keeps all your devices juiced up and ready for fun because your cabin has, like, ONE outlet.
Magnetic Dry Erase Board – Because freebie boards are 3/4 full of travel agent ads. Enjoy a huge blank space for all your steamy slutty notes.
Cruise Luggage Tags – Clear plastic luggage tags to keep your cruise ship tags clean and dry. Be sure they are the RIGHT size for your cruise line. Royal Caribbean is not the same size as Carnival luggage tags, etc… You ONLY need them for luggage, not carryons.
Cruise Lanyard – Because bathing suits don’t have pockets… and neither does sexy wear! Get a plastic sleeved lanyard to hold your Sea Pass Card – your ultimate cruise life accessory! It’s your room key, credit card, proof of a drink package, and ID for getting on and off the ship. OTHER options include a badge holder with carabiner clip OR a handy magnetic wallet phone case.
Mesh Zipper Pouch – Absolute packing lifesavers! Keep your theme outfits and accessories organized to perfection! Water-resistant, sturdy, and easy to label. Better than re-using those flimsy Shein bags! (Might work for your smuggled liquor cache too. Ssssshh!)
Magnetic Hooks – Verdict’s out! Leo said no, Kat said yes. Kat wins!! Magnet hooks were a hit! And we needed more!! Hang your cruise door decorations… wet towels, bathing suits, lanyards.