If you thought Florida was all about Disney World and retirement communities, think again. Nestled in the sun-kissed cul-de-sacs of Land O’ Lakes lies Caliente Resort, a unique nudist planned community that’s spicing up the Sunshine State in ways you’d never imagine. While it might seem like your typical serene neighborhood at first glance, it’s actually a sizzling hotspot for the swinger community. Grab your sunscreen and buckle up your golf cart as you join Kat & Leo as they take you on a no-holds barred Caliente Resort review in their most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
Caliente Resort Review
Distance from Tampa – 30 minutes
Nightclub Hours –
Sun-Thurs – 8pm – 3am
Fri & Sat night – 8pm – 3am
After 6pm Pricing – Caliente Resort offers the ultimate bang for your buck. By day, enjoy the sun-kissed freedom of a nudist paradise on a day pass. Then, as night falls, dive into the vibrant swinger scene at their nightclub, all at a price that’s unbelievably affordable. It’s luxury and adventure without breaking the bank.
- Couples
Sun – Thurs – $30 (steal of a deal!)
Fri & Sat – $60 - Single Male
Every day – $175 - Single Female
Sun – Thurs – $15 (unicorns!🦄)
Fri & Sat – $20
“Stepping inside Caliente Resort is like entering a realm where hedonism meets hedonism squared.“
Inside Tour: After breezing through a no-fuss metal detector, you ascend to the second-floor main area, where the nightclub reigns supreme. Picture this: a sprawling bar that could rival the Vegas Strip, staffed by a squadron of 4-6 (super young and super hot!) bartenders ready to shake, stir, and pour your wildest dreams. Barstool seating lines the perimeter, creating a ringside view for the show unfolding on the dance floor, where a DJ spins beats that could wake the dead.
On the Veranda: Venturing outside, a smaller bar beckons with its own seductive allure, offering more seating that spills onto a wraparound, balustered veranda. From here, you can gaze down upon the tropical wonderland below: a sprawling oasis of pools, daybeds, and palm trees that sprawl across the bottom floor. It’s a sight that’s as intoxicating as the drinks and as inviting as the atmosphere itself—a paradise where every corner whispers of possibilities, both seen and unseen.
Vibe Check – Caliente Resort is the epitome of a laid-back, super-friendly vibe that’s as chill as a frozen margarita on a sunny day. Unlike your typical swingers club where the vibe goes from 0 to 60 in record time, here it’s all about easy conversations and genuine connections. People are not just friendly—they’re super friendly and, let’s face it, super DTF. Whether you’re lounging by the pool or mingling at the bar, expect a welcoming atmosphere where fun and flirtation go hand in hand. It’s a place where the drinks are cold, the conversations are warm, and the possibilities? Well, they’re as hot as you want them to be.
No Playrooms – Caliente Resort’s drawback? No playrooms. Thanks to ongoing permit issues, the fun is limited to poolside and hot tub frolics. While some manage to sneak in a bit of play, the real prize is scoring an invite to explore a villa. It’s like winning the lottery—once you’re in, the night heats up in ways you can only imagine. Here’s hoping those permits sort themselves out soon!
Feeling a bit shy? No worries. You can just come and dance the night away. You can enjoy the conversation serpentine pool and hot tub, clothed in bathing suits… Blowjobs may be happening poolside, so it’s voyeurism at its finest.
Cleanliness – Like a 5-star resort. Fancy to the extreme!
Would we go back? – Let’s just say we already racked up 4 consecutive visits—call us sluttons for more! With our patented number-close system, scoring digits is practically a sport. Plus, scoring an invite to a villa or hotel room opens up a world of possibilities. It’s all about soaking in those Florida resort vibes without breaking the bank. So, yes, yes, yes, and yes again—because when you find a good thing, why stop at one?
***PRO TIP – Avoid Sundays and aim for Thursday, Friday, or Saturday nights at Caliente Resort for the best bang for your buck. Open your mouth and talk to people. You never know where a simple chat might lead in this vibrant, adventurous debauchery playground.
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)
Caliente Resort: Laid-back Florida tropical luxury with spicy fun.
Secrets: Orlando’s premier swinger retreat, with playrooms!
Swinger Lingo (check Swinger Dictionary for more!)
Voyeurism: The art of peeking behind closed doors, where watching becomes the sexiest form of foreplay. A practice in which individuals derive sexual pleasure from observing others engaging in intimate activities.
Exhibitionism: Putting on a show that would make Vegas blush, because why keep all that steamy action to yourself? The act of deriving sexual gratification from exposing one’s own body or engaging in sexual activities in front of others, often for the purpose of arousal or thrill.
Swingers Club: The playground of pleasure, where fantasies come to life and every night is a tantalizing adventure. A dedicated venue or establishment where individuals or couples within the swinging community gather to socialize, explore their sexuality, and engage in consensual sexual activities with other like-minded individuals.
Slutton: Kat & Leo’s signature catchphrase – like a glutton, but for pleasure! This insatiable stag or vixen indulges in all the delights of the bedroom with gusto, savoring every carnal encounter with the voracity of a glutton at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
DTF: ‘Down to Fuck,’ a slang term indicating someone’s readiness and willingness to engage in sexual activity.