Vanilla Swingers – A swinger podcast for newbies, by newbies in the lifestyle

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You Might Be A Swinger If... Top Signs You Swing

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Think you’re just open-minded? Think again! If your weekends require a babysitter, your closet is full of theme outfits, and tequila shots go everywhere, you just might be a swinger!

By: Kat Swings

Look, I don’t make the rules—I just break them (while wearing thigh-high boots and a lace thong). But if you’ve ever found yourself in any of the following situations, it might be time to stop pretending you’re just “open-minded” and accept the truth. You just might be a swinger!

Join Kat & Leo on a hilarious romp as they break down the funniest, most outrageous signs you might be in the lifestyleJeff Foxworthy-style! in our most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.

You've Seen Them Naked Before You Met Them

Oh sure, most people meet their friends at work or the gym. But you? You met Brad and Stacy when you “accidentally” swiped right through their not-so-PG vacation album before your first dinner date. And when you finally met in person, there was zero awkwardness—just a quick, “Oh hey, nice to finally see your face!” Kat & Leo? Check!

Vanilla Means More Than Just Ice Cream

When someone says they’re vanilla, you don’t think mmm, ice cream—you think mmm, nope. And if you ever accidentally call your non-lifestyle friends “vanilla” to their face, be prepared for a lot of confused blinking. Kat & Leo? Check!

You Always Push for Kid-Free Weekends

Listen, little Timmy, I love that your best friend has a trampoline and a basement full of snacks. In fact, I think you should sleep over there! Every. Single. Saturday. Go on, sweetheart—Mommy and Daddy need some “us” time. Kat & Leo? Ahem, Check!

Mom and Dad pushing little Timmy to have a sleepover

You go to Las Vegas, but never gamble or leave the hotel.

People: “Oh my God, did you win big in Vegas?!”
You: “Oh, I hit the jackpot all right.”

The real money isn’t on the casino floor—it’s in the secret parties happening in your hotel room. And let’s be real, you didn’t fly all the way to Vegas to lose money playing blackjack when there are other hands to be played. Kat & Leo? Double check!

Half the Clothes on Your Floor Aren’t Yours

Huh. A sparkly crop top? A pair of men’s leather pants? Who even wore these? Oh well, better text the group chat and see who left their underwear in your bathroom this time. Kat & Leo? Check!

Swinging 101 - Newbie Tips

Choosing a Schoolgirl Outfit Is a Struggle

“Is the red plaid too basic? Is the pink one too innocent? Should I go with the black-and-white ‘bad girl’ look?” These are the real-life dilemmas of a seasoned swinger. And let’s be honest, you’re probably bringing all three just in case. Kat? Triple check!

Your Closet Is 90% Costumes, 10% Clothes

Some people have a closet for shoes. Some have one for coats. You? You have an entire wardrobe dedicated to glow parties, BDSM nights, and masquerade balls. Because when someone says, “Dress sexy,” you don’t just arrive—you make an entrance. Kat & Leo? Check!

Your Babysitter Knows Not to Ask Questions

Look, we just need someone who doesn’t blink when we say, “We’ll be home… eventually.” Bonus points if they don’t judge the Uber full of very well-dressed adults pulling into the driveway at 4 a.m. Kat & Leo? Check!

Your Wildest Fantasies Keep Coming True

“One day, I’d love to have a threesome.” Boom. Done.

“A naked tangle of six in the hotel room?!” Oh look, that’s already on the calendar for next Saturday.

“Wouldn’t it be crazy if—” STOP. It’s already been done!

A Double-Headed Dildo Isn’t a Gag Gift

Let’s just say, you don’t buy your toys at Target. And when your vanilla friends come over, you’re very careful about which drawer they open when they go looking for a phone charger. Kat??? Check!

People Still Think You’re Newlyweds

Yup. Because while other couples are arguing about laundry and whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher, you and your partner are still sneaking off for quickies, sending flirty texts, and coming home from date nights with company. Kat & Leo? Definitely check!

Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!

Swinger Lingo (check Swinger Dictionary for more!)

Swap right: Another of Kat & Leo’s coined catchphrases. Like Tinder, but with a twist – swiping for play partners, swinging-style.

Vanilla: The flavor of love that’s sweet but oh-so-basic. Within the swinging community it describes individuals or activities that are conventional, traditional, or non-kinky in nature, often contrasting with the more adventurous or non-monogamous aspects of swinging.

 

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