Ahhh, New Relationship Energy (NRE)—or as we lovingly call it, the crack cocaine of the swinging world. You know that buzzy, electric, can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other feeling? That wildfire passion that has you giggling like a teenager and making out in parking lots like you’re 16 again? Yep, that’s NRE. And it is wildly addictive. It’s more addictive than a drug, and it keeps you chasing that dragon. It’s probably what keeps all us swingers in the game… after just a taste.
Hang tight and join Kat & Leo as they wax all about NRE while deep in the throes of their own mind-boggling, heart-stopping, can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, dopamine-fueled whirlwind of NRE obsession, in our most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
What the Heck is NRE?
New Relationship Energy (NRE) is that intoxicating, all-consuming rush of excitement and infatuation that comes with a fresh connection. It’s the butterflies-on-steroids feeling that makes you text at warp speed, replay every conversation in your head, and somehow survive on two hours of sleep because you’d rather be tangled up in bed than unconscious. Your brain is marinating in a cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline, leaving you giddy, obsessed, and maybe just a little unhinged.
And when it hits? Oh, it hits. Hard. NRE can last for weeks—maybe even a month if you’re really lucky. You’re on a full-blown bender, and nothing else matters. Responsibilities? Who cares. Sleep? Irrelevant. Your pants? Optional, or at least with someone else’s hands in them! Every stolen moment is hotter than the last, and you feel like you’re strapped into an unstoppable rollercoaster of lust, adrenaline, and “holy hell, I can’t get enough of this feeling!”
But here’s the kicker—NRE isn’t just about sex (though, let’s be honest, the sex is fire). It’s the emotional and physical connection. It’s why people chase new connections and why seasoned swingers have to keep themselves in check—because while NRE is thrilling, it can also make you lose all common sense fast.
Podcast Sparked by NRE Madness
Case in point? Yep, you got i! The entire Vanilla Swingers podcast, this entire website, was spawned from an NRE high. Devil’s spawn! We were so hyped up and electrified that we had to channel all that chaotic, insatiable energy somewhere—and boom, now we’re here, oversharing into microphones for your listening pleasure almost a year later! Absolute bonkers!
One moment, we were deep in the throes of new connection euphoria, texting like maniacs and sneaking off for rendezvous that felt like stolen scenes from a very scandalous romance novel. The next? We had a podcast. Because apparently, when you mix NRE with a couple of hyper-verbal, overly enthusiastic swingers, you get content creation. Who knew?
Swinging 101 - Newbie Tips
Why NRE Doesn’t Last Forever
Now, here’s the bummer. As much as we’d love to live in an eternal state of NRE madness, eventually… it ebbs. And thank gosh, because if it didn’t, we’d never eat, sleep, or function like normal adults. The truth is, as you go deeper into the lifestyle, the NRE hits a little differently. The first few times, it’s all-consuming—your brain is soup, your heart is a drum solo, and you can’t focus on anything but that experience!
But after a while? The flames flicker a little faster. Unless you’re constantly nudging new boundaries, trying new things, and sharing experiences you’ve never had before, that all-encompassing intensity doesn’t last quite as long. Maybe it used to last a month. Now? Six days of fiery madness, and then it’s on to the next.
But let me tell you, even a year into the lifestyle, we still find ourselves shaking with pleasure, our eyebrows singed by that uncontrollable lust, and as insatiable as two hormone-fueled teenagers. So yes, it may be fleeting, but when it hits? IT HITS!
What Goes Up Must Come Down
But like any rollercoaster, what goes up must come down. And let me tell you, when you’re at the tippy-top of that NRE high, the crash can be BRUTAL. We’re talking gut-wrenching, soul-sucking, staring-at-your-phone-waiting-for-a-text agony.
Because here’s the thing – when you’re wrapped up in NRE, you live and die by the tiniest gestures. One delayed text? Agony. A “Hey, I’ll let you know” instead of a firm plan? Devastating. A left-on-read? Call the coroner, because I’m deceased.
That’s negative NRE, and it’s a bitch.
The Fix? Play the Field
Wanna know how to keep that negative NRE at bay? Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, put all your eggs in one basket. I know, I know—this one is just SO good. The sexy fun is next-level, the chemistry is explosive, and you can’t imagine ever wanting a different experience again. Big mistake. HUGE.
Because here’s the deal – people come and go. If you’ve only got one couple or single lighting up your world, then when they pull away—even just a little—it feels like the end of the damn world.
So? Keep a stable. Rotate. Diversify. Have multiple play partners and multiple flames keeping the fire stoked. Not only does it keep things light, casual, and fun, but it also protects you from the NRE crash. If one ghosts, guess what? You’ve got two more to keep that NRE stoked.
Burn for NRE, Don’t Get Burned
At the end of the day, NRE is the lifeblood of swinging. It’s what keeps us all coming back and chasing the dragon, what fuels the late nights, the secret rendezvous, the texts that make us squirm. It’s intoxicating. Addictive. And fleeting.
So embrace it. Chase it. Burn for it. Just don’t let it burn you.
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Swinger Lingo (check Swinger Dictionary for more!)
New relationship energy (NRE): The electric spark in a new romance that’s the sizzle in your step, the sparkle in your eye – when butterflies turn into fireworks and every touch sends shivers down your spine. The exhilarating and intense feeling experienced at the beginning of a sexual relationship, characterized by excitement, passion, and heightened emotional connection.
Reclamation sex: The spicy, reconnecting romp after your partner’s played with someone else. It’s all about reclaiming your territory with passion and intensity. A steamy way to reignite the flames and reaffirm your bond!