So, you’re about to embark on the Bliss Swinger Cruise, huh? Get ready to sail away into a world of hot, steamy fun. But before you get too excited, let me hit you with some pro tips that’ll guarantee you have the time of your life. We’ve got everything from handling embarkation day like a boss to getting the best plays, and let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than missing out because you weren’t prepared. So, let’s dive in—trust me, you’ll thank me later. All this and more in our most recent episode of the Vanilla Swingers podcast.
1. Embarkation Day Hack: Skip the Line
Listen up, I get it. You’re excited to start your vacation and want to get on the ship ASAP, but here’s the thing—if you show up at 11 a.m., you’re gonna wait in line for forever. But if you show up at 1 p.m.? Bam—you sail right on board, go straight to your room, and start decorating your door like a badass.
Pro Tip: Drop your bags with the porter early to get quicker bag delivery. You’re welcome.
2. Get the WiFi Package—It’s Non-Negotiable
You know what’s non-negotiable? Getting the WiFi package. You’re on a cruise, but don’t think that means you can’t stay connected. Whether you’re making last-minute plans or chatting up your new playmate (yes, I said playmate), the WiFi package is the best way to stay in touch and keep the fun going. It’s shareable across devices, and let’s be honest: connecting and playing is what we’re really here for.
3. Number Close – Get Those Digits Right Away
Let me drop some knowledge – don’t just rely on a whiteboard to make things happen. Yeah, they’re cute, but nothing beats getting someone’s phone number, Telegram, or social media handles in the moment. Trust me, you want to keep the lines of communication open right then and there—don’t wait until tomorrow when you could’ve already sealed the deal.
4. Decorate Your Damn Door – And Go Big
Here’s the thing: your door is your billboard. Want people to stop and take notice? Decorate that thing like you’re auditioning for the best-dressed door award. Leave swag, candy, lube, stickers—whatever you want! People love a little surprise, and you’ll be surprised how much attention your door will get.
Pro Tip: The more over-the-top, the better.
5. Main Dining Room: The Ultimate Social Hour
Listen, don’t be that couple who sits alone in the corner at dinner. You’re not here to have a quiet, romantic dinner for two—you’re here to mingle, meet new people, and make sure you don’t miss out on any juicy opportunities. The main dining room is your best bet for this—take your time, meet random people, and don’t rush it. If you’re in a hurry, the buffet’s fine for a quick bite, but if you want to really meet people, hit up the main dining room. But be mindful, it will take about 2 hours of your time!
6. Room Service: Because Late-Night Hunger Is Real
Okay, let’s talk about room service, because it’s a game changer. If you’re dancing and playing until the early hours of the morning (which, let’s be real, you will be), you’re gonna be starving. Luckily, room service is free (minus a small service fee) and you can order as much as you want. Five dishes? No problem. It’s like a swinger buffet to your door. Don’t forget to tip the server—$5-10 should do the trick.
7. Shoot Your Shot – Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection
Stop being a scaredy-cat. Everyone’s afraid of rejection, but here’s the truth: you’ll never know what could’ve been if you don’t put yourself out there. Our favorite move? A spicy “Let’s Play” on the whiteboard, which worked like a charm—hello, playtime! Even if you get shot down, at least you tried, and who knows? You might just end up with a hot date for the night.
8. Themes – Go BIG or Go Home
You’re on the Bliss Cruise —this isn’t the time for modesty. When it comes to the theme nights, go all in. About 80% of the ship dresses up, and they start as early as dinner. By the time promenade time rolls around (8-10 p.m.), everyone’s strutting their stuff, looking fierce. Use this to your advantage: walk the promenade, chat people up, compliment their costumes, and make some new friends. Plus, who doesn’t love dressing up and looking sexy?
Bliss Swinger Cruise Review Part 1
9. Incidental Charges – Know What You’re Getting Into
So you wanna do body painting or book the photo package? Yeah, it’s gonna cost you. And if you’re like us, you might skip it, but hey, I’m all about you doing you. We break down the costs so you can decide if it’s worth it for you. And no, you don’t need to shell out for a lounge chair on Labadee. Just sit your butt down and claim it. No extra charge. Seriously, it’s free.
10. Magnetic Hooks: Your New Best Friend
Magnetic hooks—get them. Seriously, these little lifesavers will change the way you organize your cabin. Want to hang your wet bathing suit or those sexy fairy lights? Magnetic hooks. Want to dry that leather flogger (don’t act like you don’t have one)? Magnetic hooks. They’re perfect for hanging anything you need and will keep your cabin looking neat and sexy. Trust me, these hooks are essential.
Find all of this and more on this episode of our top-rated swingers podcast for new couples to the lifestyle, the Vanilla Swingers podcast!
Naughty Links and Extras! (Fun, Irreverent, and Maybe Passably Useful)
Bliss Cruise – NO AFFILIATE LINKS. Buy direct or find a travel agent (same price).
CruiseMapper – Find a sister vanilla ship to throw your friends off the swinging scent and keep your steamy adventures under wraps.
Cruise Drinks Calculator – To figure out if the drinks package is worth it, let this tool do the math for you! It’ll tally up your drink costs and show you what you’d spend without it. Bottoms up!
Royal Caribbean Cruise Deck List – Click here to uncover a super-secret treasure trove of 100s of aggregated user reviews of specific Royal Caribbean cruise line cabins. Find your Cruise Ship (Oasis/ Symphony/ Mariner) and search to see if your cabin has been reviewed.
Celebrity Cruise Deck List – Click here to uncover a super-secret treasure trove of 54 pages of aggregated user reviews of specific Celebrity cruise line cabins. Search the pages for your Cruise Ship class (Reflection/Silhouette) to help you find the best cabin.
Kat's Amazon Wish List
We promise, NO affiliate links...they're so un-F*cking cool!
Non Surge Power Strip – With three AC outlets and two USB ports, this cruise-approved lifesaver keeps all your devices juiced up and ready for fun because your cabin has, like, ONE outlet.
Magnetic Dry Erase Board – Because freebie boards are 3/4 full of travel agent ads. Enjoy a huge blank space for all your steamy slutty notes.
Cruise Luggage Tags – Clear plastic luggage tags to keep your cruise ship tags clean and dry. Be sure they are the RIGHT size for your cruise line. Royal Caribbean is not the same size as Carnival luggage tags, etc… You ONLY need them for luggage, not carryons.
Cruise Lanyard – Because bathing suits don’t have pockets… and neither does sexy wear! Get a plastic sleeved lanyard to hold your Sea Pass Card – your ultimate cruise life accessory! It’s your room key, credit card, proof of a drink package, and ID for getting on and off the ship. OTHER options include a badge holder with carabiner clip OR a handy magnetic wallet phone case.
Mesh Zipper Pouch – Absolute packing lifesavers! Keep your theme outfits and accessories organized to perfection! Water-resistant, sturdy, and easy to label. Better than re-using those flimsy Shein bags! (Might work for your smuggled liquor cache too. Ssssshh!)
Magnetic Hooks – Verdict’s out! Leo said no, Kat said yes. Kat wins!! Magnet hooks were a hit! And we needed more!! Hang your cruise door decorations… wet towels, bathing suits, lanyards.